Pet Peeves on the Internet - Part One

I've recently figured out how to use Twitter. This means that I'm now a Twitter addict, and am online a lot more. This also means that I'm exposed to a vast array of my particular pet peeves - the little things that annoy the stuffing out of me. 

Out of curiosity (and an intense need to stop myself slapping the creators of said peeves), I'm posting this to see how many people have the same highly developed annoyances. 

In no particular order, my pet peeves are:

TyPiNg LiKe ThIs - This mix of capital and small letters does not make you seem intelligent or witty. In fact, it's just annoying, interrupts the flow of the words and loses the message behind the compelling desire to tell you to punctuate correctly! Capitals were developed to start sentences, create EMPHASIS (which is now better suited to using the italics or bold buttons), and to showcase the importance of personal nouns. It does not make the quote look "pretty", and by the way, do you have any idea how long it takes to type like that? Don't do it, and I won't need to wonder if you lost your brain somewhere between maths and English classes. 

Constant obscenities interspersed with sentences that you feel wouldn't be complete without a "fuck" thrown in the middle - Because, don't you fucking know how to fucking use the fucking dictionary to find better words than fuck? The latest stats say that people who swear a lot lose up to 40% of their vocabulary because they replace the words with obscenity. I'm not saying that it doesn't have it's place. It's hard to find a better phrase to replace "Ah fuck! That hurt!" when your table decides to find your toe a suitable resting place. But social media sites aren't one of them. Constant vulgar language makes you appear slightly more dim-witted than the average African Grey Parrot* whose trailer-trash owners spend the majority of their lives swearing at each other. Don't do it, and I won't need to hit the fucking delete button. (By the way for the differences between profanity, swearing, cursing and obscenities, click here.)

Txt spch on sites whre i knw u're typng on a kybrd - Seriously, people, vowels are the cornerstone of the English language. They tie the consonants together and allow your reader to create sounds that would otherwise get lost in translation. You try saying kybrd without sounding out the vowels. It's almost impossible and sounds completely different to your intended meaning. Also, it's not English! It takes approximately half a second longer to type out the full word than it does to type it in text speech. Even if you're not on a computer, if you have a phone that connects to the internet, I can practically guarantee you have predictive text on it. Save us all the torture of having to translate your gibberish, and learn to use it! Don't do it, and I won't think you're an ape who learnt to type with no idea of the meaning behind the letters. 

Their, there, they're, your, you're using the wrong spelling! I get it. The English language is a bitch, seldom follows her own rules, and confuses the hell out of even the most accomplished writer of it. Once or twice, every now and then, it's okay to confuse these words. It's understandable and we've all done it at some stage. But by the time you're old enough to use the internet without parental supervision, you should have figured it out. If you haven't, you need to make a list on a post-it note, and keep it near your computer for reference. The difference between of and off, is fundamentally illustrated in the title of Anne McCaffrey's collection of short stories: Get Off the Unicorn. Google it and hopefully you'll begin to realise why the difference between your and you're is so important. 

This brings to a close part one of my pet peeves on the internet. I'm not sure how many posts there will be, but as I continue to explore the online community, I'm sure I'll find more to write about. 

What are your personal pet peeves? 

*African Greys, like most parrot species, are among the most intelligent bird species out there. However, some also have the temperament of obnoxious toddlers; much like people whose ability to form a coherent sentence without swearing was lost along with their manners.