Uhm... Say what?

I posted an ad on Gumtree the other day, stating that I was interested in doing admin work. I'm not interested in a full time position, but I am fairly proficient at computer work, data capturing and general paperwork; and it would be nice to have income coming in while still being free to do my own thing. 

Today I got my first response. For the sake of the poor man who clearly needs help, I shall refrain from giving his name; however this is, word for word, the email I received from him:

Hi,

Would you be interested in an 'open minded' PA position?

Salary negotiable with benefits. 

So, being curious I replied asking about the position and making it clear that I wasn't interested in a full time job. And once more the reply was:

hi,

open minded is of the adult nature...if i can put it that way

nothing hectic and not the full thing...if you know what i mean?

you will be well taken care of financially.

Uh... Yes. I was just propositioned for you-know-what (heaven forbid you should mention the word). After posting an ad saying that I was interested in ADMIN work. 

Now I suppose sex could technically be considered Admin, after a fashion. Somehow, though, I never received or failed to read the memo letting me know that companies now class sexual acts under Admin. Or maybe I just deleted it along with the hundreds of other spam emails I get telling me that I can get Viagra for half price. Sorry guys, I have the wrong equipment for what you're advertising. 

The thing that really got to me though is; this guy doesn't even know who I am, what I look like, whether I'm in a relationship, whether I might actually have an STD or what I'm generally like as a person. He was asking me to be his highly paid prostitute, without knowing a single thing about me beyond the fact that I'm computer literate. Not only that; he couldn't even mention the word 'sex'. 

If I know what you mean? Really? In the whole of the entire English language, out of the hundreds of ways there are to ask for sex; the best you can come up with is "if you know what I mean?" 

Now I must be honest, for a few seconds the temptation of being well taken care of financially did run through my mind. Until my Editor personality kicked in and I started asking myself if I could actually... *cough* service a man, who couldn't even phrase a coherent question about the service he was asking for. 

So my answer was a polite "no, thank you", and it's been left at that. Now I admit that a lot of people would probably have issues with being approached in this regard and about such a personal topic. Sex is for many, more about emotional connections, than physical. And no matter how you look at it, if I'd accepted, I would have been the high-class equivalent of a prostitute. 

The thing is, sex is sex. And whether or not we're willing to admit it, it is a need that drives us. At the very least, this man was open and honest and polite in his request, if not entirely mature in his manner of phrasing. For that reason, I chose to laugh about it, and dismiss it as just one of those things instead of getting myself into a rabid, 'castrate all men' mood. 

If he'd been even slightly deceptive about it, and wasted more of my time, I may well have hunted him down and given him a variation of the vet's neutering process. With my garden shears.

Snip, snip. 

Something Crafty

The last few days have been alternately rainy and sunny. The rain is good, because it means I don't need to water the veggies, but at the same time, I think my broccoli is drowning. It doesn't look very happy where it is, so I'm thinking of moving it. I just haven't figured out where to move it to. 

Zeus

Also, the pests; aka Zeus and Beast, have been trampling my lettuce. Zeus takes great pleasure in chasing Beast through the garden, and Beast being slightly odd, he tends to lead the way straight through my lettuce, mouth open in a continuous, tortured wail while Zeus follows in gleeful pursuit. Tessa, meanwhile, sleeps peacefully on under my chair, enjoying the temporary relief from being pounced on by the terror that is Zeus. 
The rest of the veggies seem to be thriving. Which makes me happy. And hungry for fresh home-grown produce. 

Tessa

Squashy has returned home, and while I know Squishy is missing him, life has returned to its crazy 'normal' pattern. The kitchen seems emptier without him around though, and I strangely find myself missing the extra company. And the help when I need an extra set of hands for making stuff. Like this:




It looks like a mobile to hang over a child's bed and I suppose it could be used as one. However, this particular item is a candle chandelier that I made for Squishy. She has a very hippy room; with a tie-dye bedspread we made earlier in the year, and just a generally bright room. The original version was a bit of a flop because the wire wasn't thick enough, so it ended up a bit wonky and I ended up a bit frustrated. So I tossed it aside for a few days while I let ideas simmer in my subconscious. And my awesome muse came through! With a lot of self-satisfied smirking and a few bruised and poked fingers, I plaited three long strands of wire; relying on Squashy's hands to untangle the ends (wire gets magnificently tangled when you plait it), and ended up with one long, prettily patterned and thick enough piece to hold the holders. Once it was done, and had received approval from Squishy; Squashy very handily got up on a chair and hung it from the roof. Luckily Squishy is short (and squishy), so she fits perfectly under it. Now we just need to put some candles in it and see whether it works without being a fire-hazard. I reassure myself that if nothing else, it makes an awesome decoration which the cats can't reach to destroy.


Elf, being the wonderful creative person she is; made an absolutely beautiful dream-catcher for Squishy. I have asked for one for myself, but as she starts a new job on Monday, it may be a while before I get one. That's okay though. She's excited and nervous about the job and I'm really happy and so proud that she's making a success of her life after everything she's been through. It's just further proof that the strength that lies within people is what defines their lives, rather than external circumstances. 


She's well on her way to catching her own dreams. 

Pandora's Box

Me and my Father

Pandora’s Box tells the Greek myth of a woman; Pandora, who had a box that she’d been forbidden to open. The story goes that her curiosity soon got the better of her and she opened it, releasing all the ills into the world. Horrified, she slammed it closed, trapping hope inside. Supposedly this symbolises that when things seem bad, there will always be hope.

Grasshopper

I say supposedly because I’m not sure I buy that interpretation of the myth. I’ve always believed that the ancient civilisations of the world knew more than we give them credit for, and I believe this is one instance where their mythologies have been misinterpreted. Then again, I’m not an archaeologist, historian or Greek; so the only thing I have to base my theories on is personal experience. Whether or not you agree with my version isn’t the point. Naturally, I prefer mine.

Grasshopper and Dragonfly

Squishy and Squashy

Memories are funny things. We often don’t realise how many we have tucked away in the boxes of our minds, until something; an action or scent or word, reminds us and the memory is brought to the forefront. Some memories; based on anger, fear or pain, are hung onto for dear life, every detail vividly captured for us to dwell on; stoking the negatives and discarding the positives. Others are sealed carefully away, like dusty treasures; taken out every now and then to be fondly remembered before being gently packed away, the shine fading over the years and leaving only a soft glow to smile about.

Memories are Pandora’s Box. Filled with all the emotions, positive and negative that a human can feel in a lifetime. So often, we hold onto the negatives, the bad stuff, thinking that by doing so, we’re spiting the people who caused those emotions. When really, all we’re doing is drowning out the voices of the positives; the hope and love and strength that comes from having survived a bad experience and grown from it. How many people have found an empathy for others that they never had before experiencing similar pain? How many people have discovered their own strengths, only through picking themselves up again and again? Yet instead of seeing that, they cling to the idea that only by being angry, bitter or sad, can they continue. They fill their boxes with so much negativity, that the soft, gentle voices of hope and love are smothered under the brashness and ego that come with negative emotions.

My Extended Family

Then along comes Pandora; that meddlesome wonderful woman and with a simple action, she releases all those negatives, and sends them back to where they belong. Leaving behind a much lighter box, filled only with hope. Hope for the future, hope for a life that will be stronger and better and happier because it’s not weighed down by crap.

So now I have a question. What are you filling your box with? And is it worth the weight?

A Full House...

...not the poker kind. This evening I am off to fetch my best friend, and her girlfriend to spend the weekend at my place. Which will bring the total number of people in the house to six. 

Image Courtesy of digitalart

Squishy's boyfriend is here for a few more days before he has to return home. Squashy is an awesome guy and I know Squishy is going to miss him when he goes home. Long distance relationships are hard, but in a way I think they are more stable than whirlwind romances that fizzle out after a couple of months. There's no time to be someone you're not because you see each other so seldom, and then when you're apart you actually have time to miss the other person. Then again, all my relationships have been of the whirlwind, sweep you off your feet and then leave you hanging by your ankles from the nearest power lines, waiting for the jolt that will drop you to the ground far below, a sadistic chuckle echoing from the universe as you hobble off, your tattered heart sleeve still smoking slightly. So I'm probably a bit biased. 


Still, I'm a romantic at heart and with the recent passing of Valentine's Day, I can't help but think that I'd like someone special in my life. And then... I start thinking about the responsibility that comes with being in a relationship. I think about the time and effort and work and compromise that goes into making a relationship successful, and I think to myself, "Oh hell no!" 


At the moment, with the space I'm in, I'm having way too much fun doing the things I want to do, when I want to do them. I'm not obligated to spend time with anyone, I don't need to compromise on activities: "What do you want to do?" "I don't mind, what do you want to do?"; I don't have to worry about anyone else's happiness except my own, and for someone who's spent her entire life putting other people first, this kind of freedom is bliss. 

Image Courtesy of Jomphong

Do I one day want a relationship; that best friend who knows what I'm thinking before I say anything? Who's perfectly happy if I decide not to get out of my pajamas for the day and will understand my need for solitude four days of the week? Who I'll want to spend time with even though I'm shunning the rest of the world? Who will understand that when I get sick; I turn into a grumpy, whiny brat and need to be babied? Whose smile will give me butterflies and make me do random, insane things just so I can see it? Someone I can grow old with?


I don't think I know anyone who doesn't want someone like that in their lives. But right now, today, this minute? I'm enjoying my single status and solitude. 


And tonight, I will have Grasshopper and Dragonfly, Squishy and Squashy and my father and the animal children to keep me company. Tomorrow, Orphan and Elf and their housemates are going to come for a visit and the house will practically be bursting at the seams, and come the end of the weekend I will need another one just to recover from this one. 

Image Courtesy of Sujin Jetkasettakorn

Luckily for me; everyday is Saturday. I love being job-free. Better yet, I love having a family that is not just biological, but also includes all my amazing friends. 


My reality is awesome.  

I've Got A Lovely Bunch Of...

Veggies!

The Lovely Bunch

Not quite growing in a row. But it is a lovely bunch of veggies and I did plant them. We had a lot of fun planting them too. The animals watched with interest as we extended the flowerbed and Zeus being Zeus decided that the newly dug soil would make an awesome litter box. After a lot of complaining as I repeatedly removed him from the patch, he finally gave up; leaving me to transform the empty bed into a vegetable paradise.

Squashy's Legs and the New Bed

My house mate, Squishy and her boyfriend Squashy (don’t ask about the names); helped. Or rather, Squashy helped me dig while Squishy made lunch. 

The Extended Bed Before Planting

We decided to extend the first bed, because a lot of the veggies we got prefer sun, and most of the beds are in shade. So we extended the one and then dug another.  

My friend took us to Four Seasons Nursery in Benoni, which is a wonderful little place where you actually buy the veg by the parcel and you get to watch as they're dug out of their beds. The parcels are huge; for those with a small garden like mine, I highly recommend going for the half parcel, which thanks to my awesome buddy is what we did. As it was, I was scared I'd run out of room. The scraggly grass patch is now a bit smaller. The staff at the nursery is friendly and welcoming and I was given a few impromptu lessons on planting which I'm really grateful for since I occasionally battle to tell the leaves from the roots. (Not quite but close.) 

So without further ado; I present the stars of the shows in all their glory. *Cue round of applause*

Bringing up the rear in the new bed are onions, their leaves/stalks? (confusing plant) cut off halfway down as recommended by the helpful gardener at the nursery. 

Leading the lines, spinach. I've been craving creamed spinach for weeks and in a few I shall have my very own big plants to provide me with all the leaves I need. Oh Spinach, I heart you. 

In the extended bed, we have:

•  Brinjals. The above mentioned awesome friend has a garden of her own with mature plants which are bearing ripe ones of their own. I have never in my life tasted a vegetable that was so creamy and just plain yummy as that freshly picked, homegrown brinjal. If mine come out even half as yummy, I will be ecstatic.
• Butter Lettuce. I'm a rabbit at heart. Lettuce is my salad leaf of choice. 
• Beetroot. Not my favourite, but Squishy loves the icky red stuff and maybe the homegrown variety will be yummier than the bottled weird stuff I remember being forced to taste as a child. Maybe.
• Brocolli. In a cheese sauce or with potatoes or above-mentioned creamed spinach. Need I say more? Apparently the bugs love it. If they love mine, it will be the last thing they ever love. Ever. 

And finally, chillies. I don't quite know why I got these, since I'm very definitely a scaredy cat when it comes to spicy food. I think I may have fun developing stronger tastebuds though. There's just something exotically appealing about going to a chilli tree and picking them off to be used in some hot spicy dish. I think I'll have to start looking for recipes that require a bit of fire. Otherwise, I'll be using them to make a really strong anti-bug spray for the brocolli.

This would be Lady and Tobi, eagerly watching our actions in the garden. I am hoping the strict 'no's yelled out every time they tried to walk in the beds will have some impact and they'll keep out of them. If not, I'll have to fence them off until the plants are too big to be trampled. 

Tobi

Lady

Here is the recipe for lunch, which is something I tried and which seems to be a huge hit with everyone. While I yelled directions to her from the garden, Squishy learnt how to make it, and it came out really well. 

A Different Potato Salad. (serves 4 as a light meal)

5 medium unpeeled, washed potatoes, cut into bite size pieces.

1 onion, finely chopped and fried in butter and sugar until slightly burnt. 

5 smoked viennas, cut into pieces and lightly fried.

Mayonnaise to taste.

Instructions:

Boil the potatoes until soft, then remove from heat and drain. Add the caramelised onion, viennas and mayonnaise and mix well. Serve warm or cold.

   

Optional extras which were in the salad the first time I made it, are sliced green peppers and chunks of cheddar cheese. 


To my amazing friend, who took us shopping for the veg and very kindly got them for us; thank you will not suffice. You have an open invitation to dinner when they are ready for harvesting and my promise that I will learn how to make amazing vegetarian dishes to delight your tastebuds. You are awesome. 

...How Does Your Garden Grow...

...with trial and error, cursing and swearing, and a lot of waiting impatiently for plants to grow. At least in my case. I have discovered a love of gardening that was instilled in me by my mom, and left dormant for years. Now, like one of the foxglove seeds I planted weeks ago, it has finally started to sprout and I couldn’t be happier.

Today, a really fantastic friend of mine is going to take me shopping. For vegetables. More specifically, vegetable plants. Which will, hopefully, flourish in my garden and provide us with a bounty fit for a queen. There’s only one problem. Only one flowerbed is halfway prepared to receive the plants:

 The rest, look something like this:

 

(Please ignore the blurry shots of the animals. They snuck into the photos without me realising and there will most likely be a post dedicated to them in all their awesome naughtiness in the near future.)

Back to the garden... You see my dilemma? But, it’s all right. I have two unwilling helpers and a ton of energy that’s waiting to be expended on creating a gloriously productive and tasty garden. At the moment, I have unprepared beds. And some pretty hibiscus flowers and giant monsters:

 

Now I leave you with a couple of photos of my scraggly grass (which is a fix-up project for a later date), while I scurry off to start prepping the rather weedy soon to be vegetable patches. 

Scraggly grass? Pfft... I hope I'm never THAT boring! 

Writing Rhapsody

So a lot has happened since I last posted on my other blog, The Owl, the Orphan and the Elf. Chief among that was forgetting my account details including my username. How does that happen, you ask? I won’t bore you with the details; suffice it to say my normally fairly good memory failed me utterly. And my usual common sense deserted me when I created the account and so through a series of inexplicable events, I find myself forced to create a new blog.

Which is not necessarily a bad thing because it brings me back to my previous statement about a lot happening.

Orphan and Elf have moved out. They are now very happy living with a couple of friends of theirs and a family of cats. Elf is studying Business Management through correspondence and Orphan is working full time. Sadly I don’t get to see them as often as I’d like, but we keep in touch online. Needless to say, I am extremely proud of how far they’ve come in a year.

As for me... Life has grabbed me by those barely unfurled wings that used to belong to the owl, and tossed me off the highest cliff it could find while yelling “Fly on your own damn it!” And so, faced with no alternative beyond going Splat! I am flying solo, while the wind tosses me hither and thither and occasionally a bug collides with my eyeball.

What does that rather bizarre metaphor mean? I quit my job, I am not looking for a new one, and thanks to a rather wonderful series of non-coincidences (you don’t really think I believe in coincidences do you?), I am enjoying a journey of self-discovery interspersed with the realisations that I love gardening, DIY and more importantly, getting back to my roots in nature.

In other words; I’m becoming a modern-day hippy and I love it.

This is me; no longer defined by my need to be the provider, but rather me, writing my own glorious Rhapsody and discovering that you do indeed have the ability to create your own reality.

Welcome to mine.