Uhm... Say what?

I posted an ad on Gumtree the other day, stating that I was interested in doing admin work. I'm not interested in a full time position, but I am fairly proficient at computer work, data capturing and general paperwork; and it would be nice to have income coming in while still being free to do my own thing. 

Today I got my first response. For the sake of the poor man who clearly needs help, I shall refrain from giving his name; however this is, word for word, the email I received from him:

Hi,

Would you be interested in an 'open minded' PA position?

Salary negotiable with benefits. 

So, being curious I replied asking about the position and making it clear that I wasn't interested in a full time job. And once more the reply was:

hi,

open minded is of the adult nature...if i can put it that way

nothing hectic and not the full thing...if you know what i mean?

you will be well taken care of financially.

Uh... Yes. I was just propositioned for you-know-what (heaven forbid you should mention the word). After posting an ad saying that I was interested in ADMIN work. 

Now I suppose sex could technically be considered Admin, after a fashion. Somehow, though, I never received or failed to read the memo letting me know that companies now class sexual acts under Admin. Or maybe I just deleted it along with the hundreds of other spam emails I get telling me that I can get Viagra for half price. Sorry guys, I have the wrong equipment for what you're advertising. 

The thing that really got to me though is; this guy doesn't even know who I am, what I look like, whether I'm in a relationship, whether I might actually have an STD or what I'm generally like as a person. He was asking me to be his highly paid prostitute, without knowing a single thing about me beyond the fact that I'm computer literate. Not only that; he couldn't even mention the word 'sex'. 

If I know what you mean? Really? In the whole of the entire English language, out of the hundreds of ways there are to ask for sex; the best you can come up with is "if you know what I mean?" 

Now I must be honest, for a few seconds the temptation of being well taken care of financially did run through my mind. Until my Editor personality kicked in and I started asking myself if I could actually... *cough* service a man, who couldn't even phrase a coherent question about the service he was asking for. 

So my answer was a polite "no, thank you", and it's been left at that. Now I admit that a lot of people would probably have issues with being approached in this regard and about such a personal topic. Sex is for many, more about emotional connections, than physical. And no matter how you look at it, if I'd accepted, I would have been the high-class equivalent of a prostitute. 

The thing is, sex is sex. And whether or not we're willing to admit it, it is a need that drives us. At the very least, this man was open and honest and polite in his request, if not entirely mature in his manner of phrasing. For that reason, I chose to laugh about it, and dismiss it as just one of those things instead of getting myself into a rabid, 'castrate all men' mood. 

If he'd been even slightly deceptive about it, and wasted more of my time, I may well have hunted him down and given him a variation of the vet's neutering process. With my garden shears.

Snip, snip.